Articles
Government Health Warnings!
These days the papers and magazines are crammed full of survey after survey with advice on what to eat, not to eat, to do, not to do… and so on, it’s a wonder we haven’t all gone barmy by now! Here are just a few examples of the ‘wonderful and helpful’ articles that have been printed across the globe… and like the ones in the papers back home, don’t read too much into them!!
Being slightly overweight gives a lower risk of death, than being normal weight. (US Centre for Disease control).
Yoghurt is good for bad breath, gum disease and tooth decay (Japan).
Men aged 45-68 who drink milk each day in some form, increase their chance of Parkinson’s Disease (30 year Hawaiian Study)
Three cups of tea a day can protect against heart attack by 11% (U.K)
A diet of fruit, vegetables, fish and olive oils, can extend life by up to one year. (University of Athens)
Long palms on a hand signify more prone to High Blood Pressure (Southampton University) Whilst a woman with a longer index finger than ring finger has a higher risk of early breast cancer (University of Central Lancashire)
Regular eating of eggs can save the loss of sight in old age (Massachusetts Institute of Technology.)
Curries can fight Alzheimer’s disease thanks to Turmeric in them (University of California)
Now pay attention , it’s beer time!
Drinking a beer a day (not 7 on a Saturday) reduces the risk of kidney stones (Finland).
One or two small beers daily reduces the risk of Dementia (Holland).
Dark ales cut the chance of cataracts by half. (University of Western Ontario).
Drinking 2 pints of beer a day significantly lifts the chance of Type 2 Diabetes. (U.K)
And the apparent good news University College, London, found no link between the amount of drink
you have and getting a beer belly!
And now one for chocolate...
Chocolate eating can lead to better circulation, thinning the blood like aspirin, lowering blood pressure, plus the eating of it can stop the spread of cancer tumours Sadly the same survey found it also lead to higher cholesterol and heart disease if eaten too much. (USA)
Finally garlic seemed a popular topic to survey:
Garlic can reduce the risk of prostate cancer (U.S. Cancer study)
Garlic lovers can slash the chance of bowel disease by two thirds (University of N. Carolina)
MRSA is being tackled in research by using garlic (University of E. London)
Stomach ulcers can be combated by a daily intake of garlic. (Japan)
Garlic eating can improve the flow of blood to the sex organs. (University of Berlin)
POSSIBLY THE WORLD’S MOST STUPID INSTRUCTIONS??
- This product not intended for use as a dental drill. On an electric router made for carpenters.
- Take two tablets until passing away. Label on a medicine bottle in Japan.
- Caution: knives are sharp. On a knife sharpener.
- Choking hazard: this toy is a small ball. On a child’s rubber ball.
- Caution: remove infant before storing chair. On a pushchair.
- Don’t drive standing up through the sunroof while you’re closing it. From a car owners manual.
- Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator. On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
- Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less. On a birthday card for a one-year-old.
- If swallowed contact poison control. On a tube of toothpaste.
- Warning: do not climb in this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death. On a tiny 15cm protective package.
- For best results start with a clean bathtub before use. On a bottle of bathtub cleaner.
- For use on animals only. On an electric cattle prod.
- Not to be used for drying hair. On a blowtorch.
- Refuse to be put in dustbin. From a government office in the U.K.
- When you have finished your meal, return used food. At a language school in the USA.
- Stop! This is the last rung. On an aluminium ladder.
- Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts. On a packet of cashew nut pieces.
- Save a child. Push down and turn. To open: Close tightly. On a medicine bottle.
ALL ABOUT ANTS!
As summer approaches…. It’s picnic time! Which can mean ants looking for your dropped food. Here are a few things about ants that you might not have known!!
There are more ants roaming around the world than any other creature on the planet. Ants account for 10% of all the animal tissue on earth. The combined weight of all the ants on earth would total more than the combined weight of all the humans. Despite finding ants in almost every corner of the British Isles, ants usually live in very warm climates. Relative to their size, ants have the largest brain of any insect. An ant has 250,000 brain cells, compared to 10 billion for a human. It has been calculated that an ant's brain has more processing power than the computer that controlled the first Apollo space missions. By studying the behaviour of ants, scientists have discovered that they are capable of finding their way out of very complex mazes. Ants are omnivorous, which means that they will eat absolutely anything that is edible. Despite having relatively huge and powerful jaws, an adult ant doesn't actually chew it's food. Instead, it squeezes and sucks the juice from it. Ants use scent trails to mark out paths to food, so that their fellow ants can easily find their next meal. The world's biggest ant colony was discovered in 2002. This super colony has billions of ants living in millions of nests. It stretches 3,600 miles, all the way from Italy to northwest Spain. An ant can lift 50 times its own weight, which is as much of a feat for them as lifting a car would be for you! Ants don't have lungs. They breathe through tiny holes in their sides called spiracles. Ants display behaviours similar to ours. For example, worker ants take care of larvae by feeding and washing them. No one knows whether ants "sleep" in the way we do. They don't have eyelids, so they can't close their eyes. They do rest, but trying to monitor their brain activity at this time would interfere with it so much that the results wouldn't tell us anything. Ants do look for food only during the day. And in the winter, their breathing and metabolism slows way down. An ant will usually live for approximately 45-60 days.
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?
The following are actual stories provided by a travel agents based in the USA, read and weep!
“I had a lady ask me for an isle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.”
“A nice lady called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8.20am and got into Chicago at 8.33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast and she was happy!”
“A man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he only had an hour lay over in Dallas, so I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I’ve heard Dallas is a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”
“A women called and said “I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes.” I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said “Yeah, Whatever.”
“A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa, “Oh, no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.”
“I got a call from a man who asked if it would be possible to see England from Canada?” I said “No” He said “But they look so close on the map.”
“I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with: “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.” Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa.” Her response………click.”
“A woman called to make a reservation, “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York.” The agent was at a loss for words, finally the agent said “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with “sorry, maa’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a hippopotamus anywhere.” The customer retorted, “Oh, don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!” The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?” “That’s it! I knew it was a big animal!”
“A woman called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s baggage belongs to who?” I said “No, why do you ask?” She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT. Since I’m overweight, I wondered if there is any connection?” After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.”
